Dear You,
I want to grab you by the shoulders, shake you around and say, “YOU DON’T REALLY LOVE HER!”
Because it’s true.
You don’t.
WAKE UP and smell the dead roses.
What you feel for her isn’t REAL, man. You’re just looking for a good time, somebody to occupy yourself with for the time being. What you’re after is not her, but the thrill you get from chasing her, the exhilaration from the pursuit of a girl you know you will never end up with.
You may not realize it at this time, but I can tell. She’s a cellphone you show off for three months and then pass on to somebody else. She’s the superficial pop song you play in your head until you’ve memorized every single line, every single lyric - and then forget about when the next chart-topper arrives. She’s the shirt you love to wear all the time, but eventually grow out of.
She’s that kind of girl to you, and you’re that kind of boy to me. I know your type all too well. And the sad thing is, neither of you realize that this relationship you have is built not on love, but rather, the ghost of it.
I remember you telling me about how you came to “love” her. Over the summer you were grieving over your last broken relationship, and suddenly, out of the blue, she started texting.
You went along with it, most likely to fill the void your previous almost-girlfriend left behind. You texted and you chatted, and when school came, you met her at her classroom after every class, ”just to say hi.”
Then, just because you thought your lovelife was too much at a standstill, you just decided that you loved her.
So you told her you did.
But I know, deep down, you don’t really love her. As you have commitment issues, of course you don’t. You change girls as often as you change clothes.
And do you remember when I tried mentioning this to you while we were practicing for the Intrams? I told you about this clothes notion of mine, and you just laughed and said, “Everybody needs clothes.”
I said, “Technically you could live without them.”
And that’s when you said, “So you want us all to be naked?” and laughed. “How bout you Aim? You’ve been naked for some time.”
And do you remember that other time I tried telling you, right before we took the UST entrance exam? I asked you, “What do you like about this girl exactly?”
Do you remember how you paused for a while, shrugged, then said, “I don’t know. Everything?”
It reminded me of another situation in which I asked my friend Janine why she liked Korean songs so much when she couldn’t understand a single word of them. She said, “Because they’re catchy, the singers are cute, nice ang beat…”
She is the Korean song to your Janine. You don’t like her because of any meaningful lyrics. You don’t like her because of the relevance of the topic being presented in the song. You don’t like her because of the complex chord pattern, or the intriguing message, or anything- no. You just like her because she’s a catchy tune. A cute singer. A good beat.
Which is why I want to violently shake you and tell this straight to your face.
But I won’t. Because I’m your friend. And if she, your little ditty, your current hobby, is what makes you happy as of the moment - so be it. I won’t interfere.
And also because I remember what a little bird once told me. He said love could happen. He said high school romances don’t always end in shambles. He said it really could work out, sometimes, if the cards are played just right and the people are not idiots.
Dear friend, please don’t be an idiot. Hearts are at stake.
Keep 'em coming!